Last week, I had the honor of presenting a workshop for McCallum Place, a treatment center for women struggling with eating disorders located in St. Louis, Missouri. The participants were staff members and treatment providers such as mental health counselors, dietitians and social workers dedicated to helping individuals and families impacted by anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder.
What does money have to do with eating disorders recovery? More than you would think. Here are the top three connections and why it is so important for those working in mental health to address the financial aspects and complications of treatment:
The average cost of treatment for an eating disorder is over $100,000 per person. Eating disorders treatment is long term and expensive. Often clients require inpatient stays as well as outpatient work including nutrition appointments, counseling appointments and medical check ups, all of which add up in copays and out of pocket expenses.
There is a large correlation between binge eating, bulimia and compulsive over shopping. Many people who binge on food also binge shop. Unless both the spending and the eating behaviors are addressed, individuals may substitute symptoms and not get to the root of the issue - learning how to cope with difficult feelings and life circumstances.
Women need to learn to make peace with food and money. Many women have conflictual relationships with food and money. Those who tend to not eat enough also have trouble spending money on themselves. Individuals who over eat often over shop. The real issue is affect regulation. If you obsess about money or food, you are often too distracted to look at or feel what is really going on. While this is okay ever once in a while, when used as a consistent coping strategy, a person is likely to develop an eating disorder and/or a money disorder. Successful treatment and long term recovery depends on addressing both areas of a person's life.
What is your relationship with food? Does it mirror your relationship with money? Please share your thoughts and stories here so we all can learn to be at peace with both.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Keys to Success for Lady Advisors
I recently wrote an article for The Glass Hammer, a great online publication dedicated to empowering women to be smart with numbers. The article is called The Softer Side of Finance. Here are some tips for those women out there in the financial sector based on my interview with 7 top Lady Advisors at Commonwealth Financial Network:
1. Practice intellectual curiosity
2. Read the paper every day
3. Speak up at meetings and have an opinion
4. Practice work life balance
5. Focus on helping your clients and the money will follow!
For the complete article, click here.
What is one key to your success?
1. Practice intellectual curiosity
2. Read the paper every day
3. Speak up at meetings and have an opinion
4. Practice work life balance
5. Focus on helping your clients and the money will follow!
For the complete article, click here.
What is one key to your success?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Money Clip: Men and The Psychology of Money
When I was young, I remember my dad carrying his money in a money clip. It was silver with a shiny blue and gold US Navy Seal on it. He would pull it out of his pocket when we were at the hardware store getting supplies for his latest home improvement project and it would be messy and overflowing with fives, tens and twenties. I used to watch with little girl eyes as he would pull the wad of bills out, separate them into neat little piles and pay the lady at the counter the amount due. He would then fold up the bills all neat and tidy, re-clip them and slip the money clip back into his side pocket.
I don’t know why this is such a vivid memory for me. Maybe it is because I was daddy’s little girl and I loved going on adventures with him – even if it was just to the hardware store. Maybe it was my love of cash at an early age that makes the image so bright. Or maybe it is because my father taught me everything I know about money. He taught me how to save when I was 5, how to balance a checkbook when I was 15 and how to negotiate my first salary at 21. Yes, my dad taught me to be a fiscally responsible adult.
I know that not every girl, or guy for that matter, was lucky enough to have a dad like mine who taught them about making and managing money. Many more men and women were raised in families where money was a taboo subject, basic financial skills were not taught and if money was talked about it was a source of conflict. It did not matter if you came from wealth or poverty, the silence spoke volumes. With the popularity of the books like Women and Money by Suze Orman and Make Money, Not Excuses by Jean Chatsky, women have permission to talk about their fears, doubts and financial insecurities. There are workshops, webinars, book clubs, podcasts and money conferences all for women. I love the idea of empowering women in this way and have my fair share of products and services to address this audience. But I am afraid the men are being left out.
I believe men need a safe place to talk about money too. Just like there are myths about women and money that need to be broken, there are stereotypes about men and money that block them from living financially secure and satisfying lives. Here are just a few:
Men are providers and naturally know about making and managing money.
You are not born knowing about money and its purpose in life no matter what your gender. Boys, just like girls, learn financial skills and money messages from their parents and other influential adults and need to invest time and energy into this life skill.
Men enjoy talking about money.
I coach a fair amount of men who would rather do anything else than count their cash, balance their checkbooks and talk about money. Just like women, some guys enjoy learning about finances and some do not.
Men are not emotional when it comes to money.
Men are socialized to not show their emotions from a very early age, but it does not mean that they don’t have feelings. When it comes to asking for and receiving money, men have very similar insecurities but how they look from the outside is different.
Men talk about stocks and bonds together for fun.
Some do, some don’t. I spend a fair amount of time with my husband and his friends skiing in the winter and biking in the summer. Not once has the topic of money come up in the last five years. While this is a very limited sample of men, I think it is more indicative than many of us would believe.
There are many more myths about men and money, but you get the picture. Men need to have a forum to talk about money and emotions too. Therefore, I have started a Linked In Group called the Money Clip. Check it out and tell me what you think. All genders welcome!
I don’t know why this is such a vivid memory for me. Maybe it is because I was daddy’s little girl and I loved going on adventures with him – even if it was just to the hardware store. Maybe it was my love of cash at an early age that makes the image so bright. Or maybe it is because my father taught me everything I know about money. He taught me how to save when I was 5, how to balance a checkbook when I was 15 and how to negotiate my first salary at 21. Yes, my dad taught me to be a fiscally responsible adult.
I know that not every girl, or guy for that matter, was lucky enough to have a dad like mine who taught them about making and managing money. Many more men and women were raised in families where money was a taboo subject, basic financial skills were not taught and if money was talked about it was a source of conflict. It did not matter if you came from wealth or poverty, the silence spoke volumes. With the popularity of the books like Women and Money by Suze Orman and Make Money, Not Excuses by Jean Chatsky, women have permission to talk about their fears, doubts and financial insecurities. There are workshops, webinars, book clubs, podcasts and money conferences all for women. I love the idea of empowering women in this way and have my fair share of products and services to address this audience. But I am afraid the men are being left out.
I believe men need a safe place to talk about money too. Just like there are myths about women and money that need to be broken, there are stereotypes about men and money that block them from living financially secure and satisfying lives. Here are just a few:
Men are providers and naturally know about making and managing money.
You are not born knowing about money and its purpose in life no matter what your gender. Boys, just like girls, learn financial skills and money messages from their parents and other influential adults and need to invest time and energy into this life skill.
Men enjoy talking about money.
I coach a fair amount of men who would rather do anything else than count their cash, balance their checkbooks and talk about money. Just like women, some guys enjoy learning about finances and some do not.
Men are not emotional when it comes to money.
Men are socialized to not show their emotions from a very early age, but it does not mean that they don’t have feelings. When it comes to asking for and receiving money, men have very similar insecurities but how they look from the outside is different.
Men talk about stocks and bonds together for fun.
Some do, some don’t. I spend a fair amount of time with my husband and his friends skiing in the winter and biking in the summer. Not once has the topic of money come up in the last five years. While this is a very limited sample of men, I think it is more indicative than many of us would believe.
There are many more myths about men and money, but you get the picture. Men need to have a forum to talk about money and emotions too. Therefore, I have started a Linked In Group called the Money Clip. Check it out and tell me what you think. All genders welcome!
You can give up shopping
There are many professional women who struggle with compulsive buying and do not realize that there is hope for recovery and a life without the shame, guilt and financial chaos. In a conversation the other day with April Lane Benson, Ph.d., the author of To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop, I learned about a great teleseminar for those interested in learning more about overshopping and how to break the cycle.
The teleseminar series: Confessions of Three Shopaholic Authors: Recovery Conversations that will Inspire Your Own is a live 1-hour conversation with three remarkable women, each one a serious shopaholic who’s come out the other side and then written the story of her unique recovery. For more information click here.
The teleseminar series: Confessions of Three Shopaholic Authors: Recovery Conversations that will Inspire Your Own is a live 1-hour conversation with three remarkable women, each one a serious shopaholic who’s come out the other side and then written the story of her unique recovery. For more information click here.
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