Financial Stress Busters

Here are some financial stress busters to help when emotions run high relative to money and the economy:

1. Laugh with a friend or watch a silly movie. Great movies and television programs are available for free online. Check out Hulu.com.

2. Sit down and develop a budget. The belief is not knowing makes you less stressed when in fact it usually produces stress.

3. See financial problems as challenges. Brainstorm about how you can meet this challenge head on.

4. Use your wise mind - this is the blend of your rational mind (I need to pay bills) and your emotional mind (I am going to run out of money!) that is wise (I will pay bills and I will do my best to cover all my costs and if I do in fact run out of money I will come up with a way to bring in more income or reduce expenses.)

5. Go for a bike ride. Exercise is a great stress reliever. So when you are financially stressed go for a bike ride, a hike or a walk. Getting in touch with nature and more grounded in your body always helps.

What would you add to the list?

What was I thinking?

Yesterday was a long day at work. My cell phone went dead, half of my clients cancelled and I could not write a word to save my life. So I did what any American woman would do, I went shopping. First I went to Marshall's, then Building 19 and then TJ Maxx. We are in a recession so I limited my excursions to bargain basement retail shops and rationalized my need to purchase as it was necessary for my "professional image". You see I am in the process of rebranding my company so why not rebrand my look.

I ended up purchasing two bags. One that is fun yet business appropriate and the purse pictured here. I left the last store and said to myself, "A good accessory always cheers up my day!" I went back to work, wrote my newsletter, saw two more clients and called it a day. Everything felt right with the world.

The next day, I went downstairs, grabbed my morning coffee and took out my shopping bags. Boy was I surprised. I expected to feel glee when looking at my "finds", but instead I was horrified by the white and tan bag. I held the purse up to my husband and he said, "What were you thinking?"

Apparently, I was not thinking, I was reacting. My emotional mind needed a quick pick me up and the bag fit the bill. Unfortunately, my rational mind never kicked in and asked important and pertinent questions such as, "How will this purse impact your professional image?", "What financial resources will you use to pay for the bag seeing as your income dropped drastically today with the cancellations?", and "What else might satisfy your emotional needs right now other than buying something I really don't need?" No. There were no questions running through this old brain. Just a light bulb going off saying "Buy me. Buy me. How cool am I? I am a Steve Madden Designer Bag at a good price. Buy Me."

Yes, the purse is not me at all and it is not appropriate for my professional image. It is more a symbol of what I am not, of lost youth or the desire to be more "hip" than I actually am. After my coffee, I did the adult, fiscally responsible thing. I pulled out the receipt and I took the purse back. No offense Mr. Madden, but this just ain't my style.

How can you avoid emotional shopping when business is slow? Try these three tips:

Breathe: Take three deep breathes and ask yourself these questions: 1)What is my reason for shopping now?, 2) Can it wait for 24 hours? 3) What am I avoiding by shopping? If there is not a good well thought out reason and it can wait, then don't go to the mall. Slowing down the process is a great technique and can save you money and return trips.

Consult your Wise Mind: If I had checked in with my wise mind, it would have counseled me to hold off on buying the animal print bag. Get in the practice of checking in with both your rational and emotional mind and then make the wisest decision you can. If I had done so, I would have realized that I don't need another bag to change my professional image, I need to hire a branding expert!

Phone a friend: Call a friend and chat about what is going on with you and your business. This conversation will enlighten you and help you look at the urge to shop. Besides it is always good to chick chat when feeling bored or discouraged professionally. Chances are this type of support will uplift your spirits and give you valuable business ideas, much more so than another purse will.

Do you want to Make Peace with Your Purse? If so, check out my new teleseminar. There are two spots available and it starts April 23, 2009.

What purchases have you made recently that left you asking, "What was I thinking?"

Down But Not Out

Diane Darling is a great example of a professional woman who learned the hard way about unspoken money messages and how they can negatively impact your business. Recently, she was profiled in the Boston Globe and her story inspired me to give her a call. Diane and I chatted about what she learned over the past decade about women and money and how to avoid sliding into debt like she did.

Diane offers her fellow business women these 4 tips:

Keep business money and personal money separate.
Maintain a separate checking account for your business. This is very important if you want to create a fiscally responsible business, but is so often overlooked by those new to the entrepreneurial world. Many business owners learn this lesson the hard way and despite being told by their accountants to do things differently, don't take action. If you run your business like a hobby, it is destined to fail. So be financially intelligent and visit your bank today to establish a business account, if you don't have one already.

Being overly optimistic about money can lead to bankruptcy.
Diane described how she never worried about money and always felt that it would just come to her. This attitude contributed to her business failing financially and her falling into severe debt resulting in her living at the local YMCA because she could no longer afford rent. Take time to learn about your thoughts and beliefs about money and how these conscious and unconscious messages directly impact your bottom line. Attend my upcoming teleseminar, Making Peace with Your Purse, and learn skills for understanding your financial mindset and how you can move towards positive behavioral change. Diane learned the hard way, but you don't have to.

Make time to deal with your finances.
Many business women tell me they just don't have time to balance their checkbook, look at their profit and loss statement or learn more about the money side of their business. Diane was just the same way. She now believes if you can't make time for your finances, you have no business running one. Money is part of life and the sooner you learn to make your accounting as important as getting groceries for the week, the better off you will be. Make an appointment to have a financial meeting even if you are the only one that attends. Make it as high a priority as a meeting with a potential client. The cost is too high if you don't.

Know that it takes time to build a business.
Diane, like many new business owners, did not understand the time and energy it takes to build a profitable, sustainable business. There is no get rich quick scheme. Building a business takes time, energy and a desire to work hard on all aspects of the company including the financial side. It is okay and advisable to get help from others in building your company. Check out the Business Forum co-facilitated by Susan Hammond of scHammond Advisors and yours truly. It is a great way to learn from experts and others who want to create sustainable businesses along with you.

Diane has many more gems to share with you on this topic. My hope is she will write a book about her experience and I will be first in line to buy it. Remember don't take my word on it, take Diane's. She was down but by no means is she out!

Fraidi Cat Goes Shopping

Yes, my cat shops. It is a fairly new habit for him and it seems to have started when the recession hit. Both my husband and I did not expect it. You see, we are both cutting back. I have given up regular massages, pedicures and buying accessories on a whim. Really, what girl can't use a new bag?! My husband has forgone new video games, expensive work lunches and spontaneous large purchases such as skis, bikes and power tools.

The decision to stop excessively shopping was a conscious one. Team Kingsbury met for a financial meeting one day after Wall Street took a nose dive and voted to buy less and save more. Yes, we were going to enjoy the simple life. Our motivation was our unfinished home addition requiring more funding than expected, soaring gas prices and our desire to retire some day above the poverty level. We both felt very adult, very responsible and were proud to call ourselves Americans when the meeting adjourned.

The problem? The cat did not get the memo! Since that meeting, Fraidi Cat has bought me a massage, a manicure and is talking about getting me a facial for my birthday. The furry one also surprised my husband with a pair of new skis and recently bought a cool T-Shirt for his "dad" for Father's Day. Yes, Fraidi Cat goes shopping. And recently he is picking up the pace.

It is amazing what our brains will come up with to continue to enjoy spending money freely. On some level, we really believe that if the cat buys it, it is okay. You see, we committed to changing our money scripts but no one said the cat had to do so as well. Team Kingsbury has figured out a way to move forward and spend less, while still spending more. Brilliant!

According to the book, Your Money and Your Brain, it is not our fault. You see, we are wired that way. Our brains love the thrill of the purchase, it seeks rewards and loves the feeling of winning big in the face of losing large. Yes, smart people make stupid financial decisions because of their brains.

I have only read half of the book and hope there is a chapter on cats spending your money when you are not looking. If you have not read this book, I highly recommend it. In the meantime, I have to run. My cat want a ride to the mall.